Losing a Part of Yourself When Relationships End

by Latina Fatale on 05/03/2011 · 0 comments

in Personal

Best Friends Forever
The loss of a great friendship is always a really sad thing, especially when the end comes naturally after two friends have grown towards separate paths. Lately it seems that I have been on a separate path from a number of friends and although I know that it’s a natural growth process, it still makes me feel as if I am going through some sort of grieving process.

I’m an extremely loyal friend to my girlfriends. I’ve never been the type of woman who is a “fair weather friend” who drops friends at the drop of a dime if a man comes around. I can’t shake the memory of being a small girl and watching my grandmother and all of her girlfriends playing cards three times a week after all of their husbands had passed away. To me nothing takes the place of a special bond with a female friend.

I’ve had a friend that I grew together with when we first started our profession. There were three of us, actually. We taught together, we coached together, and we went through many professional development experiences together. We climbed the leadership ladder together. We shared the same activist roots and marched, protested and organized together. We were all on the same page together with our ideology. We started businesses together and created, created, created.

And then suddenly one friend started to slip away. She had a hard pregnancy with her first child and it took about a year to recover. After her second child she suffered postpartum depression and has never seemed to recover after two years. She carries most of the responsibility at home because she has a lazy husband.

A month ago she approached me and told me that she would be quitting some of the businesses that the three of us own together. We tried to talk her into remaining as a silent, dormant partner until a later date so that she wasn’t making a rash decision. Lately our businesses have been taking off, and we wanted to ensure that she wasn’t throwing it all away right when we are beginning to see the fruit of our labor after all of these years.

We even offered to continue to cut her a paycheck every month as a sort of residual income from profits that we are receiving as passive income from work done in the past. We suggested that she remain as a silent partner with no legal responsibilities until she chooses to revise the partnership deal. But she turned us down.

A couple of days after she approached me, I found out from a random acquaintance that a week prior to telling us that she was ending our partnership that she had told a group of random acquaintances that she was leaving the businesses behind. I can’t help but feel that as a loyal friend and business partner for almost fourteen years that I would have known before random people were told.

I can’t really explain how I feel about this and I’m trying to grapple with what is bothering me so much about it. I feel like I am losing a friend and one of the people who I have trusted more than anyone in this world with a certain part of me that no one else knows about. I feel like I have lost myself in a sense because I know that my life will never really be the same without my number one creative partner making magic with me.

No one said personal growth was easy, did they?

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