Reconnecting With Abandoned Dreams

by Latina Fatale on 11/02/2010 · 2 comments

in Personal

If you have followed me over from one of my other blogs, you might know that for the past year or so I have had a hard time with tolerating b.s. from people in the workplace. I keep having all of these fantasies about quitting my job. But then I get stubborn and I feel that I will be damned before these people push me out of the system.

I am on vacation for the next couple of weeks, and already a couple of bullshit issues have come up. On Friday one of my employees called me and told me that a principal told her that I (her boss) was unintelligent, lacked the capacity to understand data, made excuses for a certain program at his school, and was incompetent. I’ve only spoken with this macho jackass twice in my life, so it appears that this is more an issue of little man syndrome rather than about my competence. Nonetheless it still pissed me off, because I found out that he made changes to one of my programs that I oversee without my approval. But more than anything, I am tired of having to work with insecure and unprofessional people who have an attitude program or a chip on their shoulder about their own incompetence.

I initially wanted to bitch a little more about a couple of work politics issue that have reared their ugly heads, but it has just suddenly occurred to me that in doing so I am giving them a lot more power over me than they deserve. So, allow me to take the time to be proactive about getting out some of my thoughts about what I DO want to spend my time thinking about.

Over the past year, I keep threatening in my head that I should leave the system, and possibly go and open up my own business so that I can have more control over my work environment. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been writing up plans to open up a bookstore and enrichment center in a certain neighborhood. I have expressed a few hesitations about it because I thought that in order to pull off the concept that I might have to locate the store in an upper middle class neighborhood. And I felt a little uneasy about that.

I’m glad that I have taken only a few days off so far and that I have already started to think a little bit more clearly. I don’t want to go and work in a store that is located in a snobby neighborhood. I want to be with my people, giving back to my community.

I suddenly had a dream today that instead of running a bookstore, that I should just open up a non-profit educational center in my community. I had an image that I can work in the school system while I am getting the center up and running. Maybe I can write enough successful grant proposals that I would be able to fund myself to just run the center full time as the executive director. I still have to think this through, but I would really like to offer:

  • A path for college preparation
  • Writing classes for middle and high school students
  • Parenting classes
  • Family literacy
  • Tutoring for struggling students
  • Enrichment activities for students
  • Student leadership
  • All sorts of other topics!

I’m really excited about this, and as of now I feel really fulfilled. Maybe I will be able to challenge my energies through this project so that it won’t matter when I encounter a bunch of idiots within the school system who really don’t have the best interest of the children in our community in mind.

Long ago I used to have a dream that I would have a center where kids would be able to congregate after school and on weekends, in order to have a safe space to be supported, nurtured, educated and empowered. Somewhere along the line I have been torn in so many directions and I just placed my dream on the back burner. But I’m not getting any younger now, and I think that it’s about time for me to dust off my dream and get this baby up and running. Where do I even begin?

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

feministified November 3, 2010 at 11:31 pm

wow, sounds amazing: )m


Mike P. November 15, 2010 at 9:46 pm

As I was reading, I was thinking she should open a “center where kids would be able to congregate after school and on weekends, in order to have a safe space to be supported, nurtured, educated and empowered” and then you wrote it :-)
Well, actually, I just thought “hang out and be safe.” My mind is not always that eloquent.

Where to start: find others who would be interested in helping you at the board level. Presumably you will want to be a 501 c(3), so you will need a board. Find out how to become a 501 c(3). The board will be your best source for funding ideas – if they are a good board. Local business people, etc. Not so much with the idea that they will donate (tho that is important), but that they will also have a network to draw on. See if you can find a lawyer who is interested.

Check out There’s some good info there.


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